Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
