I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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