What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
