theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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