the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
