Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
