Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize