so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't deserve a penis
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
