break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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