I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i already hear my dad disowning me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
