I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
