Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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