It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
