dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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