ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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