I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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