We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
