I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he puts the penis in happiness.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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