My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
there is glitter all over my balls
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