I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
