Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
