I'm pants shitting drunk right now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
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Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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