Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize