I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
