"it" just moved
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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