dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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