you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
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Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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