This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
