please come you make the beer taste better
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
