Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Randomize
