Whod you bang
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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