he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
