SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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