That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
