i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
