She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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