Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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