I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
