Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
