That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize