sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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