HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
