I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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