What did we do last night that was yellow?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
