I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
