So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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