Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
