I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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