Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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