I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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