i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
