I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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