I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
