I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
