I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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