he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
