dude i'm inner monologue high
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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