i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
