is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
