Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
