I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
