thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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