listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
