I looked at my own cervix.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i've created a new STD.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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